And Then There Were Three: Sleep Tight

When you have a baby you spend a lot of time thinking about and googling and praying for sleep. More sleep and sound sleep and nap sleeps and night sleeps. Frances is still sleeping pretty well. Putting her in her own room was revolutionary and with very few exceptions she sleeps from 10pm until 7am. I am so so thankful for this.

But as my return to work approaches we've realized there is some sleep work yet to be done. For instance, it would be dreamy if she'd go to bed before I did. Like at eight o'clock. Then I could have a bath or read a book or just lay in the middle of the living room for two hours and do nothing. Swoon. She is also still nursed or rocked to sleep and spends her naps on my shoulder or curled up next to me. I have tried to put her down for her naps and she is up like a hot air balloon twenty minutes later. Since she needs more than twenty minutes of sleep and I need more than twenty minutes of quiet time we've just kept on with what works.

Knowing now that her nighttime sleep is fairly solid and that a looming transition to different day time caregivers will be much easier with more independent sleep habits february is going to be sleep month.

Objective One: eight o'clock bedtime. In the last two months I have put Frank to sleep at 9:30 instead of 10:00 three times and each time she's woken up at three in the morning all grins and flapping arms ready to take on her day. It then takes two hours to get her settled back down and back to sleep. Maybe its a fluke and she was bothered by teeth or the temperature or had a bad baby dream at the exact same time each night. Pretty unlikely and so the plan is to make a verrrry gradual transition to an earlier bedtime. For the next two nights we'll try 9:45 and then for two nights 9:30 and then 9:15 and so on. This means sixteen days (fingers crossed) until an eight o'clock bedtime.

Objective Two: solo naps. Since the quality of daytime naps can affect nighttime sleep we'll wait until objective number one is safely behind us before taking this on. Frank sleeps really really well during the day (three forty-five minute to two and a half hour siestas) its just that its on me. Some days this is trying. Most days I'm able to remember that our quiet time together is ever fleeting and will be much missed in the years to come. I doubt, however, that we'll be able to find a day care provide with the same time and perspective. So after she's been nursed and rocked I'll start putting her in her own room for naps. I know the first few naps and probably the first few days will mean sleep interrupted but hopefully if we keep trying she'll adjust and/or get tired enough to give in for more than twenty minutes at a time.

And then there's the learning to soothe herself to sleep feat - also really important as she grows. I'm hoping that this skill will develop a little as we work on earlier bedtimes and napping alone - setting us up to begin putting her down for the night when she is sleepy but not asleep. This is the one thing that I really really wish we had done from the start. All the parenting books recommend it and all the parents recommend it still it seemed impossible not to pick her when she was so tiny and cried after being put down.

I'm happy to have this all neat and written out. I think it will help me stick to the plan on days when our schedule or Frankie's mood is upside-down. On days when there is crying and I have to fight hard not to pick her up and cuddle her to sleep and sniff her little head while she naps in my arms there is this: