To Do and To Done

Today my day book is empty and I’m basking in a Sunday sense of accomplishment. All those small things that have made up one huge to-do list for March are done: new license plate stickers finally on license plate (thank you police for not noticing that it took me sixty days after the deadline to do this), closets sorted, rooms cleaned and furniture rearranged, car seat shoulder straps adjusted to better fit growing babe, curtains made and hung, indoor basil and oregano seeds planted, entry cleaned, and freezer stocked with baby food. 

I’ve been thinking about going back to work since Frances was about six months old. By the time she was eight months old I was able to think about these two concepts together without feeling like I’d had the wind knocked out of me. Now at ten months I’m able to (mostly) push the sadness aside and focus on the practical aspects of this epic transition. Well, not totally epic since she’ll only be with a different care giver (who is the full bee’s knees plus more bees and more knees) for two-ish hours a day. 

And, despite leaving my little heart at home, I am looking forward to this new adventure: to more adult conversation, to more diversity in my days, to my beautiful walk to the office in the morning and after lunch, to meeting new people, to different kinds of accomplishments, and to an appreciation for the weekend that can only come with a week worked away.

Its just that as I go from spending all day with her to seeing her in the morning, at lunch and in the evening, I don’t want to be thinking about overflowing bedroom closets or the old doors stacked taking up the entry. When we're together I want to be thinking only of the three of us, of building block towers to be knocked over, and of fake chasing a tiny fast crawler when she threatens to pop a piece of fuzz in her mouth. 

Hence the to-do lists that rival those I dreamed up in the last few weeks of my pregnancy. In a way it feels like that all over again – knowing that very soon the hours I have at home to get things done are about to shrink almost infinitely. 

In a way I guess it also feels like if I do enough ahead of time this transition won’t be so hard. And so for April – clean car, get trunk (which thieves somehow broke) fixed, make baby party invitations, find a really good massage therapist, find a really good point and shoot digital camera, do something with our ever-awful basement, finish redecorating the living room, tidy the front and back yards, and file taxes.

Still gonna be hard, I know.